Wednesday, December 29, 2010


maybe am a closet no..
not in a naughty way but a sad way...

i dont understand why sometimes i do things which i know would eventually irritate or annoy me...its in my hands to make the choice, since i have already made the decision to walk away & stay why do i do it?

maybe because i have not forgiven n forgotten despite my claims of such actions...
maybe i need a constant reminder of her actions which would fuel me to strive harder in life (?)
but am i that kind of person...the kind of person who needs to prove myself to the world?
i tell the world am not...but am i?

i cant deny to myself that i have had active imaginations of us meeting & i am at position to be envied.. secret desire is now unveiled...
my wish to be envied by her who i have a distaste for just going to pray 'nasty me' stops showing its ugly head with the help of new year & presence of wonderful,positive friends like neenu and nunna in bali =)

*prays hard*

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