Monday, October 8, 2012
the only stuff edible at home are instant noodles and wholemeal bread with coffee. i wake up in the morning solely for my cuppa and my couple of slices of bread with butter. today however, the butter was missing..gone! not in the fridge, not on the kitchen counter, not on the dining table, not underneath the sofa or the cushions, i looked everywhere and was mentally yelling at my dad in case if he threw it away *my dad is completely capable of doing such crimes under the ploy of healthy eating..bah!* healthy instant noodles,my foot! when i realized the butter was truly gone and i was penniless, i lost all motivation to live..the only thing which kept me going was to chastise my dad when he comes home for lunch break. and when i did, his response was 'u cleared the kitchen,kan..maybe u accidentally threw it away' he said nonchalantly. then it all made sense, i'm slowly but surely self senju'ing myself into losing all motivation to wake up...oh well, at least there's loads of coffee at home =)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Today marks the first year anniversary of 2 events, the death of a friend and the day I met another.
I had no idea then how much it would have changed and did not change about my life. The retention of our memories are strongly influenced by our emotions at that particular time and I clearly remember how incapable I was to think beyond my grief, pain, loss and regrets.
My mind was stuck in a loop of memories of him, good memories which made me weep and bad ones which I would have done anything to undone and make better. 'If only' was so highly overused at that time.
He was not conventional nice, he picked on me, made me see my flaws,laughed at me when i was wrong and begrudgingly patted my back when i proved him wrong. I miss Vinod for many things but mostly for the not-so-nice ones which I would be annoyed of him when he was around, things that he insisted his friends would miss him for.
His passing made me realize little truths of life, made me promise to a number of things which I sometimes I don't keep up to although when memories of him hit home, I try a lil harder.
A year has passed and I feel now I remember Vinod the way he would have wanted to be remembered, not the sappy corny mushy sad stuff but him for he was and what is missing when is he no longer around.
nod, over the year i did a bunch of things u always nagged me bout with some help from a new friend. ;)
i can drive now =)